They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
