I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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