Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
