do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
