it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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