dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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