where does the pee come out of this thing
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
