dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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