Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
