can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
