I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Randomize
