More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
