guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
