Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
