She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
