Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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