i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
