You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
