Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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