i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you win again, gameday.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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