Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Randomize
