And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
