the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
