Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
