marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
