I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
