I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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