Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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