At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
