You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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