shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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