Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
