haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
