You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
one might say we're banned from that church
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
