I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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