normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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