is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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