its not stalking. its research.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
