But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
