i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
it's great music for shaving your balls
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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