Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
