It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
