if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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