Where did you get a picture of my penis
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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