thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
