Sry I called you an 8
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
