can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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