FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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