you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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