so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
