One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
